Jonathan Russ Leaves BBC

Shock erupted today as research assistant Jonathan Russ announced he was leaving the BBC to pursue other interests.

After a twenty month career researching for award winning programmes such as Strictly Come Painting and Cash in the Mother in Law's Attic, Wussy decided that a move was in his best interests.

"After the big fuss made over BBC employee salaries, I felt that the £6000 raise involved in becoming a full researcher was too much of a burden for the licence paying public. I have taken this role as far as I can."

A BBC spokesperson said that Wussy has agreed to come back on a freelance basis to research for Celebrities in Need and the Opera Awards.

TEST Hero Reporter Finds New Reason to Use 20 Year Old Diana Photo

Daily Excess reporter Phil Guttersnipe was hailed a national hero by his employers today after his discovery of a link between car crashes and eating disorders gave editors the first new reason to put Princess Diana on the cover of their paper since the death of Jade Goody.

"With this magnificent discovery we can get at least two weeks worth of Diana photo's for our cover, which will increase our daily sales by at least 20% with the Lonely Bastard and Old Batty Lady demographics."

So desperate had the Daily Excess' search for reasons to re-use Diana photos become, they had even considered staging an international conference for Spouses of Royal Heirs.